The Self-Esteem Of Self-Producing:
# 3 of 13 Ways of Looking at Self-Producing
The first of our 13 Ways of Looking at Self-Producing concerned itself with desire and then in perhaps as radical a diversion as possible from that slant our second ‘Way’ concerned the math of being a playwright and trying to get your work up on the stage. Following those two topics we need to talk about your self. If a skittishness persists regarding this kind of creative project, that one word — or more accurately grammatically, its use as a prefix — stirs that sentiment: self- Many creators worry that self-producing will carry a connotation of shameless self-promotion; more on that subject in a subsequent Way. But what holds some creators back is fear of giving the impression of others that the conceiving and realizing one’s own play or other work may seem too self-involved, self-aggrandizing and even self-obsessed. Ironically, the reality in such determined enterprises is more likely to be spates of self-sacrifice, self-doubt, and self-searching.
Various good people met along the way to our own seven original productions voiced concern that others would characterize a self-produced project as a vanity production. Of course, all theater risks being a bad vanity production if self-serving creators lack self-awareness or self-control. George W.S. Trow (whose 1981 In The Context Of No Context was actually in adaptation our eighth self-produced Knowledge Workings production) cited “Diana Vreeland’s famous remark, ‘I loathe narcissism; I approve of vanity.’ The shift from a society of vanity to a society of narcissism — not a small shift, vanity being one of those things, like sexuality itself, that humans are called upon to accept as part of their condition, and narcissism being something from another planet.” Vanity gets a bad rap in the Oxford English Dictionary: who is to judge when a “high opinion of one’s own appearance, attainments, qualities, possessions” goes over the line to “excessively”? As Trow points out above being human encompasses “delighting in, or desirous of attracting, the admiration of others” and we can do that without being conceited. There’s a difference between a healthy assurance that may manifest itself in the drive to make and show your art and a corrupting narcissism that blots out the corresponding and complementary wishes of others to show us their creations. Self-produced does not have to mean self-centered, self-intoxicated, or self-obsessed.
The term self-produced in our experience is actually a misnomer at least if we go by the definition of that hyphenate word offered by those folks over at Merriam Webster: “caused to exist or happen by one’s own physical or mental processes or actions.” There may be exceptional people, the superhero types, that can get a production up all on their own, but in our experience what happens is one person initiating a call for collaboration and succeeding when they get the right collaborators at the right time. The folks in the photo above provide a splendid example: would putting on a play with a team of nine people in eight different locations qualify as ‘SELF-produced’?
Self-producing requires collaboration on a completely different level. One of the most vivid descriptions of what theater is at its best comes from The New Yorker critic, Hilton Als: “Theatre isn’t real. It’s a refraction of reality, containing feelings and thoughts that are put forth, first, in a primary text, which the actor interprets — an interpretation that the director supports or edits, in an attempt to help build, in a made-up world, an atmosphere of verisimilitude.” The decision to self-produce initiates a far more intense and extensive collaboration, which entails an additional set of skills that may be unfamiliar to playwrights accustomed to solitary labors.
Our Thirteen Ways of Looking At Self-Producing gained a great deal from what others have explored this territory and discovered and shared good practical ideas. For example, from 2020–22, Brittany Brewer hosted the no small parts podcast, “an interview-style educational podcast that aims to shed light on the many entryways into producing theatre, the numerous forms [producing] theatre can take, and the benefits of doing so.” Social media groups such as Theater Producers on LinkedIn (yes, LinkedIn) offer information and support and some of their members like Fred Rohan-Vargas provide examples of producing prowess. Or Tim Livingston who offered his experience coming from Los Angeles to NYC to self-produce.
And your considerable labors will not be helped if these worries make you self-conscious. A good production arises not from the vanity of its team members but from their willingness to risk resources and reputation (not to mention mental and physical health) to create art. . So, stop worrying about what others think of your courage and conscientiousness and creativity as you self-produce. You’re sacrificing so much to give this work to the world with no guarantee of any return. They might more accurately deem your efforts selfless. And if they still sneer, then I offer the advice my late brother Mike Elliott often intoned, “F**k them if they can’t take a joke!”
Next time in 13 Ways of Looking At Self-Producing: money, money, money
